Stray Cat Strut

Chapter Forty-Nine - Being Hella Fancy
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Chapter Forty-Nine - Being Hella Fancy

Chapter Forty-Nine - Being Hella Fancy

Friendship is what we do here at Broccolis.

You want naughty dragons? You want cures for your hysteria? Marital aids? We dont know why our new friends want that kind of stuff so bad, but we have it for them!

Our inexpert staff will try their very best to help you have the most fun you can possibly have! All while staying nice and safe. Dont forget to use your friend's rebate!

Ad for Broccolis, an exotic toy store, 2025

***

Id eaten at restaurants before. Who hadnt?

The problem was, most of the time... all of the time, those restaurants were cheap little places, with shitty plastic benches angled so that no one would sit on them too long, and 100-credit menus filled with near-foods that somehow managed to taste as real as they were, but were also really addicting.

Those places weren't this one. Hell, I couldnt even pronounce this places name without sounding like I was pretending to be fancy.

This way, the waiter said as he led us through the main floor. There were tables here and there, each with a bit of space around them, and walls on three sides with opaque glass and what was probably real wood as trim.

There were plenty of people, which might have explained the line out front. This place had enough room for twice as many tables if they were willing to squish people in a little, but no, everyone had a nice chair and like, a candle.

I felt entirely out of place.

Lucy bumped her shoulder against mine, and I looked over to see her smiling coyly at me. She knew, of course.

Right over here misses, watch the step, the waiter said as he brought us up a little platform and to a round table with two seats, one on either end. It was small, not too small, but enough that we would almost be bumping knees.

I swallowed and jumped ahead to pull out a chair for Lucy.

She went to the other side and pulled out her own chair.

I saw the waiters lips twitch as I tried to save face and plop myself down across from Lucy.

Your menus are here, he said as he placed two booklets down. Physical menus? Weird, but alright. If you are curious about anything at all, do ask. Ring the bell and I shall be with you within moments.

Right, thanks, I said as I kinda gestured aimlessly in his direction. He bowed again and stepped away, disappearing around the corner a moment later.

Theres a privacy field around your booth. Low level electromagnetic interference. Not enough to stop any really advanced listening devices, but a nice touch.

I almost jumped at Myalis intrusion. I sent her a quick text, just in case she couldnt read the mood, which, as smart as she claimed to be, I didnt doubt that Myalis was able to miss some signs. This is a date, M. Dont do M things.

Well, I suppose I can remain quiet and merely observe your fumbling. Do enjoy.

I tried not to let my frustration show as I grabbed one of the menus and opened it up. It was bound in leather, with the restaurants name stamped onto the front. Each page was some sort of thick, soft material and it looked as if the items were written by hand. But by someone who knew how to write really well.

This is hella fancy, Lucy said.

I know, right? I asked. Is this how rich people eat all the time? I glanced at the first item. The page was for... avent-gouts, whatever those were. The first thing on the list, which was in alphabetical order, was Anemone of the Sea, for the low low price of twelve-thousand credits. You could rent an apartment for a week at that price, I muttered.

Are you looking at the, uh, first page things?

Yeah, I said.

Thatd be a really crap apartment.

She was right, but still. Yeah, but itll last longer than however long it takes to eat this, I said.

Lucy laughed. Youre the one that wanted to come here, she said.

I looked away. Well, yeah, I guess.

Her leg poked mine. You okay?

Huh? I asked. Yeah, its just, I dont really know what to say?

Lucy stared for a long moment, then she started to laugh. Big guffaws interspersed with little snorts, and I was pretty sure her legs were thumping the floor below. Oh, Cat! Youre cute.

What?

Lucy just shook her head and reached across the table. Her fingers wiggled until I gave in and entwined my hand in hers. It was a good thing I had a second hand now, I could still hold onto the menu. So, once were settled in, what do you want to do?

Uh, I dont know, I said. Samurai stuff, I guess.

That makes sense, yeah. I think... I want to go to school, she said. Like, not an online one, but an actual school.

Really? Thats... I cut myself off before saying weird. Not something I expected.

Its a bit weird, right? she asked. Ohh, they have this plate thats nothing but teeny tiny burgers.

Yeah, I said. Why do you wanna go to school? I mean, what kind of classes do you want to take?

I think its partly me just wanting to see what thats like, but I wouldnt mind taking classes to become a teacher. Or a caretaker. Do you need a degree for that?

I shrugged. Probably, I said. We could figure something out. The museum is in the middle of the city, kinda, I bet there are a bunch of schools nearby.

Lucy smiled and pulled up her menu. So, what are you having? she asked.

Uh. I looked down, and my eyes glazed over at all the weird words. They had too many accents and marks on them to be real words. I have no idea, I admitted.

Lucy laughed and squeezed my hand a bit. Maybe ask for whatevers most popular? It cant be that bad if theyre serving it here, I figure.

I wonder if the spoons are made of actual silver?

Should we steal them? Lucy asked.

I nodded. Definitely. A glance around, at all the woodwork and the marble statues and... if my four ears werent mistaken, what was an actual pond near the side of the room, had me feeling as if Id just snuck into some forbidden place. But Lucy was there, so it wasnt all bad.

Do you think people would be scandalized if we started making out? Lucy asked.

Uh, I said.

Then the waiter returned with a well-timed clam jam. Hello ladies, have you chosen?

Lucy nodded and pulled her hand back so that she could hold up the menu and point at things on it. Ill have one of these. And I dont know what this is, but it sounds good. Also, do you have caviar? Does it actually taste good?

I can assure you that ours is only the highest quality that can be obtained, and it is prepared by only the finest chefs, the waiter said.

Awesome. Can we wait until after to order more? she asked. I want to be rolled out of here.

Certainly, he said with a bow. And for you, miss? he asked me.

A glance at the menu didnt help any. I hadnt exactly been focused on reading. Do you have some sort of... meal thing? Like, its set up already?

We do. Might I suggest the international meats platter? It has seven varieties of meat from all of the best farms around the world, prepared in seven distinct, local fashions. Its a little heavy but quite popular.

That sounds perfect, I said.

Lucy and I handed him our menus, then ordered some drinks. Really, it was just water. It didnt feel right to order energy drinks to go with the caviar.

So, Lucy said once the waiter was gone. Why this?

What do you mean? I asked.

She gestured around at the fanciness around out. I dont mind it, its kinda cute, but why?

I shifted a little. Its going to sound stupid, I said.

Mmhmm, she agreed. But I wanna hear it.

I tried to be angry, failed, then rolled my eyes. I wanted to treat you to something nice. You know, like... we never actually went on a date.

Weve been on plenty.

Going to the corner store together, or stealing from an automated burger joint dont count as dates, I said.

Sure they do! Lucy said. They were the best dates.

Maybe, but I wanted to bring you to a place like this, I said. Its uh... I looked for something to do with my hands while fighting the creeping warmth of a blush.

Lucy giggled and placed her hand on the table again for me to grab. Youre such a softy.

Im not, I said.

You are.

Bitch, I kill things, I said in mock indignation.

Lucy laughed at me.

I was saved, quite fortunately, by the arrival of the first course and our drinks. I had the impression that Lucy wasnt done teasing me, but at least for the moment there was good food to keep her busy.

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