Chapter 76 - 75
"What's gotten into you? Why have you been avoiding me lately?" Justin said as he looked at him with steady eyes. Tristan pursed his lips and took a deep breath. "I told you, I was busy," he said as he averted his eyes.
"Where are you looking? Look me in the eye, Tristan," Justin demanded. Tristan sighed and did as Justin told him.
"Do you even want this relationship?" Justin asked as he stared into the alpha's eyes. Tristan's eyes trembled as he heard those words from Justin's mouth.
He couldn't speak.
He truly wanted their relationship to last forever, but there was something stopping him from telling Justin about everything that was going on in his life. There was something holding him back from doing what he knew was right.
Justin sighed when Tristan never answered his question and said, "Because honestly, I'm so tired. I'm so tired of everything. Everyday, I feel like I'm getting farther and farther away from you. I'm tired of you pushing me away every single time I try to approach you. I'm tired of you not addressing the problem properly. I'm tired of you treating me like I don't exist. I'm tired of you making excuses every time. I'm tired of you distancing yourself. I'm tired. I'm so tired..."
Tristan cut Justin off as he said, "So basically, you're tired of me?"
He had a pained expression on his face, which made Justin's heart felt like it was being ripped into shreds.
"Yes, I'm tired of you," Justin said with a hint of anger.
The facade he tried to put up earlier finally broke, and his emotions got the best of him.
"I'm so tired, Tristan. Do you know how much it hurt me whenever you pushed me away? Do you know how...how much it hurt when you denied me in front of that woman earlier? Saying that I'm... I'm just someone you know... Do you know how hurt I was, knowing that I know so little about you? I don't know any... anything about you at all. It makes me feel like I'm dating a stranger. I barely know you. You never open up to me. You're the one who told me to communicate when there's something that's bothering me, but why are you not doing the same? Why do you never talk to me about anything? Am I just some kind of past time for you? Are just dating me for fun? Are you dating me so you won't get bored? Is that all I am to you...?"
Tears started rolling on Justin's cheeks as if there was an endless river in his eyes. His heart ached so much that it made him feel like wanting to die.
Tristan remained quiet and just looked at Justin. His mind had gone blank. His body was frozen. He couldn't think of anything but Justin's tears.
He was witnessing the scene he feared the most.
'It's... It's happening again...' Tristan thought as his heart ached. 'Justin is gonna leave me, too...' he thought.
"Are you just toying with me? With my feelings? Why aren't you telling ne anything? We're a couple. We're partners. We're supposed to be helping each other out during hard times! Why are you suffering alone!" Justin yelled as he lowered his head and stared at the floor.
"Why... aren't you saying anything even now...?" He said as his shoulders trembled. "Even now... you won't even tell me anything..."
Tristan opened his mouth, but the words that he wanted to say never left his lips. He felt like there was a huge lump in his throat, making him unable to speak.
He felt suffocated.
"Is this how you're gonna be?" Justin said as he lifted his head up.
'Right now... the decision I'll be making will decide my and my child's fate...' Justin thought before speaking once again. 'I shouldn't decide things rashly.'
The omega took a deep breath and composed himself first before speaking. He wiped the tears on his cheeks with the back of his hand and raised his head to meet Tristan's eyes.
"Let's take a break first. Let's have cool-off. I'm gonna give you time to think about what you want to happen," he said as he looked in Tristan's eyes. "Right now, as we are... I don't think we'll be able to make rational decisions. Think about it carefully and meet me at the cafe where I saw you earlier at exactly 5 pm on Friday. If you come, I'll take it that you still want to fix this. But if you don't show up, then we're over," Justin said as he sighed.
"I already packed my things. I'll be leaving for now and I'll be staying at Daryl's condo. Don't come see me before the date of our appointment," Justin said with a straight face and turned his back to Tristan.
"Y... You already packed your things? Were you planning to leave?" Tristan asked, making Justin stop on his tracks.
"Yeah. I was planning to leave right away but because of the expression you have on your face right now, I couldn't do it. If you didn't look like that, I would have left you right away," he said and continued walking to their room where his things were.
As soon as he got in, he immediately closed the door and took a few deep breaths to calm himself down.
Despite trying so hard to look calm, he was actually very nervous inside. His hands were cold as if he stayed outside for hours while wearing thin clothes, and beads of sweat rolled from his forehead down to the sides of his cheeks.
He felt nervous and anxious. Very nervous and anxious.
He felt that way because truthfully, he didn't have the resolve to really leave Tristan. Even if there wasn't any communication between them lately, that wasn't enough for him to want to leave his alpha's side. He truly loves Tristan, and even the thought of them breaking up scares them.
He might have had negative thoughts inside his head before Tristan arrived home, but once he saw him, all of those thoughts vanished. Of course, he still felt a bit angry at Tristan for not saying anything to him, but he still wanted to work things out between them and gave themselves some time alone to decide about their relationship.
Justin let out a shaky breath and proceeded to walk to the bed where his bag was. He grabbed it and carried it outside of the room. As soon as he got out, he met Tristan's eyes which made his heart melt.
'Ah, there's that look on his face again...' he thought to himself as he frowned.
It was the last thing he wanted to see. He knew that if Tristan gave it another push, he'd immediately put his things back and stay there once again.
'Why does he look like that?' Justin thought as his heart throbbed.
Tristan's eyes were enough to speak about how hurt he was because of what Justin said, but the rest of his face made him even more pitiful.
He looked so sad. It looked like he was watching something disappear from his life once again, as if it was something that happened to him before.
"You stay here and think about it. I'll be leaving now," Justin said as he walked past the alpha.
"I'm sorry..." Tristan whispered. Justin flinched upon hearing his words. A feeling crept into his chest once again, and his heart felt like it was being squeezed tightly. "I'm sorry, I can't tell you about it right now. I'm not yet emotionally and mentally ready yet. I'm sorry I had to put you through all of that, and I'm sorry that you had to feel that kind of pain," he said as his voice cracked.
He was trying to stop himself from crying, knowing that Justin might feel worse if he does.
A tear fell from Justin's eye, but he wiped it with his hand before buckets of tears start flowing from his eyes once again.
"I promise I'll be better next time. I'll be better... So please heed my selfish request and wait for me..." Tristan said as he held his breath while clenching his teeth, trying his very best not to cry. "During the time we'll spend apart from each other, please remember that I love you, and I'll always love you and only you until my last breath, my omega," Tristan said as he smiled while looking at Justin's back.
Justin was thinking hard about what to say after that. He let out a shaky breath and said, "I'll be waiting," as his voice cracked.
He slowly walked towards the door to leave the unit. A tear finally fell from Tristan's eye as he watched Justin walk away from him. His omega's back looked sad from his view, and it made him want to embrace him in his arms until Justin feels better. But he restrained himself from doing that and watched the door close, Justin's traces vanishing with him.
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