Chapter 79 - 78
TRISTAN'S POINT OF VIEW:
Goddamn it. Why am I remembering that again? Even if that memory is scaring me off once more, I still won't change my mind because I've already decided.
I'm going to tell Justin about the truth. I'm going to tell him everything about myself. I'm going to tell him all of my problems, because I know that I might... no, I will really lose him if I won't.
I did tell Justin that if he ever has any problem or worry, he should tell me so I could share his burden, but I couldn't do the same to him. I grew up believing that if I told someone about my problems, I'd just give them a burden that they have nothing to do about, so I really didn't want him to experience what I felt before.
I was scared of telling him about what was bothering me lately because... I was afraid that he'd leave me, too, just like my mom did.
She hated me, and I didn't want Justin to hate me as well.
But when I heard what Justin said last time about his feelings and how he felt so hurt when he knew nothing about it, I realized that it's okay for me to tell him. It's okay for me to open up myself to him and show him the real me. It's okay for me to tell him everything because he'll understand me, and he won't hate me for telling him. In fact, I was kind of relieved when I realized that he felt like that because I didn't tell him anything.
'Was Mima actually right? Is it really better to tell people about your problems and worries?
Those were the questions that have been on my mind since the day Justin left home, and I utilized that time efficiently by reflecting on my actions.
I realized that I was being a total douchebag to him, and it really did seem like I was losing interest in him. I know to myself that that wasn't the case, but he probably saw it that way.
During the time that he wasn't here, I've come to realize that I really wouldn't be able to live without him anymore, not when I'm already so attached to him.
When he left, the bed felt so big and cold now that he's not sleeping next to me anymore. Eating the usual food we eat doesn't taste the same anymore and leaves a bitter aftertaste in my mouth now that I'm eating alone. When I drive to some place, I feel so alone, because when I look at the seat next to mine as I drive, I realize that no one was there and it made me feel so empty.
Justin... Justin is a very important person to me, and I would risk anything just to win him back.
I'm glad that it's not too late now. I can still get my act right and win his heart and trust back.
Today is the day when we'll finally see each other again after quite a while.
I looked outside my window as I dried my hair with a towel.
It's past 2 p.m. right now, and I just finished showering for the second time during the day.
I wanna look my best for him today. I want him to think that I look good.
I've already prepared myself mentally, and I've memorized the things that I wanna say to him. I don't want to miss a single detail no matter how trivial it is. I don't want to make him feel that way again.
I blow dried my hair and walked to my closet after that to pick the outfit I'm going to wear today.
"Come to think of it, the news said there's gonna be a whiteout today..." I whispered to myself as my hands moved the hangers hanging on the closet, looking for the perfect clothes that would suit me for today's occasion.
I should wear something warm today...
As I searched for something that would look great on me, my eyes darted upon a gray scarf.
The messy embroidery at the end of it made me smile unknowingly.
"Good lord, he still makes me smile even if he's out of sight," I chuckled. "I've decided. I'm gonna wear this," I said as I grabbed the scarf.
I picked a simple outfit that would look great with it and put it on. I walked to the mirror with the scarf on my hand, and stood in front of it.
As I observed my appearance, I saw how messy my hair looked.
"Right, my hair..."
I opened my drawer and pushed everything aside that wasn't a pomade. When I finally found the pomade that I rarely use, I rubbed some on my hands and pushed my hair back.
After fixing my hair for over an hour, I washed my hands to remove the stickiness and headed back in front of the mirror.
I gently grabbed the scarf that was on the bed and wrapped it around my neck, and smiled when I saw how pleasing I looked.
Hmm... Will Justin like it if I look like this today?
I smiled as I imagined what his reaction will be.
I hope he'd be happy today. I hope... I hope we can fix this.
I looked at my wrist watch and saw that it was already past 4 p.m. I took a deep breath as I pursed my lips. "Let's do this," I said as I exhaled.
I left the unit and headed to the elevator. As I was on my way down the building, I couldn't help but check my watch for the time whenever I feel that it's taking too long to go down.
Finally, the elevator opened and I immediately jogged to the underground parking area where I last parked my car. I went inside, turned the engine on, and drove to the cafe where we promised to meet.
JUSTIN'S POINT OF VIEW:
Will he show up today? Will he ditch me? Will we be able to keep our relationship? Or will we end our relationship without even seeing each other again for closure?
I sighed.
I'm so nervous right now. I've been feeling this way since I woke up earlier. Even when I was hanging out with Daryl, I still felt like my heart would burst anytime.
"I'll... I'll get going first. I have an appointment today," I said as I smiled at Daryl. He stared at me for a while and smiled back.
"Okay, take care. Happy birthday again, Jus!" he said and wrapped his arms around me for a hug. "Thanks," I said as I hugged him back.
"You really got a bit chubby," he said and chuckled as he broke free from the hug. "Y... You think so?" I said and laughed it off.
I shouldn't make it too obvious that I'm pregnant.
But... I shouldn't even have problems about hiding my pregnancy right now. For an omega, physical changes of the body can be seen when an omega is already 3 months pregnant.
I'm still on my 4th week of pregnancy. How come I'm already getting chubbier? Haa...
I looked at the time on my phone and saw that it was already 4:10 p.m. The bus arrives at 4:15, so I gotta hurry and leave right now.
"Hey, gotta go. Take care and drive safely," I said as I tapped Daryl's shoulder and started jogging away from him.
"Yeah, you too!" He yelled.
I ran to the bus stop, and as if it was on timing, the bus arrived as soon as I got there.
I immediately went in and sat on a vacant seat.
I kept looking outside the window, feeling impatient. I want to arrive at the cafe early so I could at least prepare myself when I'm already there.
I wonder if he's already on his way or if he's... staying at home...
I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to brush off my negative thoughts. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down.
I shouldn't think of such things. I'm sure... I'm sure Tristan wouldn't do that...
When it was already my stop, I got off from the bus and walked to the cafe.
"It's pretty cold today. I hope he's wearing something warm..." I muttered to myself as I felt the cold wind touch my face.
I went inside the cafe and picked a table that was by the glass wall so he could see me clearly when he arrives. I checked the time on my phone once again and saw that it was 4:25. I told him to come by 5, so he's probably still on his way here if...
Argh, I should just stop thinking!
All this overthinking is killing me! Whatever is going to happen today will happen. I'm going accept whatever it is. If he comes, then that's great. We can create a family and raise our child together. If he... If he doesn't come, then...
What happens to me, then...?
Foll𝑜w current novels on fre(e)w𝒆bnovel