Chapter 92 - 91
"It's already getting late. I should go now," I said as I stood up. "Already?" Hannah said in a disappointed tone.
I threw a quick glance at Tristan and saw that he wasn't looking at me at all. He was busy eating his food.
He didn't seem to care about my presence and that I'm already leaving.
I guess... I guess I'm the only one who's affected by this.
"Yeah. Well, somebody's waiting for me at home," I said as I smiled. "Oooh~ As expected from a man in love," Hannah giggled as she looked at my hand and winked at me.
When I realized why she looked at my hand, I immediately took my ring off and chuckled.
"Shh..." I chuckled as I put my index finger against my lips, jokingly telling her to keep quiet about it.
Shit. I forgot I was wearing it. If Tristan saw it... he'd probably think that I still treasure his gift a lot.
Well... I can't say that it's wrong to think that. I mean... I still do treasure it until now. Haa...
Yes, I'm wearing the ring that he gave me five years ago. It doesn't... It doesn't mean that I still have emotional attachments to him, though. I just think that the ring looks pretty.
That's... That's all.
"Well, I'll be taking my leave now. Thank you everyone," I said as I smiled at them. Some waved their hands goodbye, and some continued eating and chatting with each other.
"Would you like a ride home? I'm leaving now, too."
I looked at the man who spoke and saw that it was Mark.
"Oh, I can manage. Thank you," I said and immediately headed outside without waiting for Mark to speak again.
I was about to walk to the bus stop, but when I threw a quick glance at the pub, I saw Tristan standing up.
Because I panicked when I saw him standing up, I instinctively raised my hand to call for a cab. One stopped on front of me, and I immediately went in as soon as it stopped.
As soon as I got in, I saw him walk out of the pub and take a cigarette from his pocket.
So, he went out because he wanted to take a smoke and not because of me...?
Aaaaahhh! This is so embarrassing! I wanna bury myself, damn it!
I bit my lower lip as I felt my entire face heating up because of the embarrassment.
Why am I thinking too much of it anyway? It's not like we interacted earlier or brought up the past. Surely, he has already moved on, right? I, too, have already moved on, but why am I acting like this?
This is probably because I'm being conscious around him since I haven't seen him in so long. Yeah... That's probably it.
As I looked out of the window, I saw that we were already nearing a bus stop. I told the driver to stop there, and he did as I told him. Before getting off of the cab, I handed him the fare.
If I took the cab longer, I probably would have paid a bigger amount of money and I can't afford to do that. Not when I'm already struggling enough to pay for the bills, the twins' tuition fee, and our daily necessities.
I took the bus home.
When I got to our apartment, the babysitter was at the living room.
"Good evening," I smiled as I took my shoes off. "Oh, good evening!" She said as she stood up. "The kids are already asleep. They had fried rice for dinner since they were craving it. I also made sure that they brushed their teeth before they went to bed," she said as she walked towards me.
"Thank you so much for your hard work," I smiled at her. "I'll wire you the money later. It's pretty late now, so I think you should get going already," I continued.
"Come on, Jus. I just live next door," she said as she chuckled. "Still," I chuckled. "Also, the kids played too much with Jace earlier, so they really got tired after," she said as she shook her head.
"Those kids..." I said as I looked at the door to their room. "Anyway, I'll get going now. Just call me if you need someone to take care of them," she said as she smiled.
She then headed to the door and left my apartment.
The babysitter I hired to take care of the twins is Jamie. She's a mother of the twins' classmate, Jace.
I got to know her when we moved in this city. It was pretty easy since we were neighbors, and she's helped me out a lot since.
I took my suit jacket off and put it on the sofa. Before I went to my room to get changed, I went to the twins' room first to check on them.
I slowly opened and closed the door so I wouldn't make a lot of noise that might wake them up.
"Mommy's home, sweeties..." I whispered softly as I walked to their bed. I sat on the bed and stared at their faces.
They both looked so peaceful as they slept.
Chester's straight jet black hair looked so messy as he turned his head sideways. He's a little boy who has the same hair color as mine, but he looks exactly the same as his father. He's asleep right now, so I couldn't see his eyes, but he also has downturned emerald eyes. Whenever I see my baby boy, I can't help but get reminded of their father.
Chesca, on the other hand, looked a lot like me except for her wavy light brown hair. She has the same eyes as me—icy blue and upturned.
"My babies... I met your father today. He still looks as dashing as always. It's a shame that he doesn't seem to care about our encounter today," I whispered softly as I smiled a little.
I can't deny it.
I can't deny the fact that I felt somehow bitter earlier because he didn't seem to care about my presence. It made me feel even crappier because he doesn't even bother to look my way, while I almost choked on my food because I was way too conscious of him.
It seemed like... It seemed like I was still stuck in past. It seemed like I still couldn't get over him, and it made me feel like an idiot.
I know myself better than anyone else that I've already moved on from him. Come on, it's been five years already.
Why...
Why wouldn't I be able to move on...?
TRISTAN'S POINT OF VIEW:
The whole time I was at the pub, I couldn't even utter a word to Justin. It was like whenever I tried to say something to him, it gets stuck on my throat like a big lump of food that I can't cough up.
I wanted to talk to him. I really do... I want to know about him. I want to know how he has been for the past five years. I want to know if he's been living well. I want to know where he went when he left this city. I want to know what kind of life he lived. I want to know the new memories he has made and if he got to meet new people.
I want to know about him. I want to know about the Justin that I haven't seen in five long years.
I clenched my jaw as I tried to muster up the courage to speak with him even for a while. I want to at least be able to exchange greetings with him.
"It's already getting late. I should go now," I said as I stood up. "Already?" the woman sitting next to him said in a disappointed tone.
I lowered my head and stared at my food as I felt my heart sink.
He's really leaving...? I didn't even get to talk to him.
"Yeah. Well, somebody's waiting for me at home," Justin said in a happy tone. "Oooh~ As expected from a man in love," the woman giggled.
My heart throbbed from what I heard.
Well... five years is a long time. I'm the only one who's living in the past. I'm the only one who hasn't moved on.
Why did I think that he's also the same as me?
He's probably... He's probably married to someone by now. Maybe he even has kids...
The thoughts that were running inside my head made my heart ache even more.
"Shh..." Justin chuckled.
It seems like he's happy with his life now. Who am I to destroy his peace and happiness?
"Well, I'll be taking my leave now. Thank you everyone."
Am I really gonna torture myself with these thoughts and just let him leave without even talking to him?
"Would you like a ride home? I'm leaving now, too."
I gritted my teeth when I heard that Mark guy offer him a ride home.
I clenched my fists as I held the utensils.
Please... Please don't go with him
"Oh, I can manage. Thank you." I heard his footsteps getting softer and softer, meaning that he's already walking away from the table.
No... No... I can't let him leave like this. I want to at least exchange greetings with him.
I stood up from my chair and said, "Please excuse me. I'm going outside for a quick smoke." I then headed outside, and as soon as I was out, I realized that I already missed my chance when I saw him inside a cab.
Damn it... I guess this day will end with me taking a smoke outside a pub. Haaa...
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