Chapter 53: I'm Fine. Like, Seriously. Please Stop Ask-
After Bernie had left, a short silence hung over the table. I looked at my hand which had been scalded by the steaming water. It almost made it seem as though it was shining bright red.
A maid had hurried over and wiped me down with a handkerchief.
"O-Oh dear..."
I closed my eyes as she hurriedly rubbed against my face, wanting to rush it as quickly as possible, but also afraid to push too hard, lest it hurt me. She was definitely overthinking it though.
I mean, I was literally being burned by hot soup right now.
She had gotten most of it off, but my reddened skin and my now sticky hair had remained. Nonetheless, a small smile formed on my face.
"Thanks."
The maid gave a small bow.
"A-Ah! Of course!"
She used a hand to brush aside her hair, and smiled gently, but was bowing, and thus was not looking at me.
"Also... thank you for trying to get him to apologize to me when all I did was set down a chair."
I shrugged my shoulders and replied without bothering to turn to her.
"You are one of those that were willing to follow through with my antics. So naturally, I would be offended when your supportive actions were undermined."
The maid's smile grew ever so slightly, but she didn't say anything else before leaving her to go back to her post.
Raisa seemed to be on the verge of bursting out in anger. She uncomfortably clenched her fist and grit her teeth.
"How dare he? How can someone have such impudence?"
A chuckle escaped me.
"You turn into an arrogant noble whenever you're angry, huh?"
Raisa suddenly lost all of her anger, instead blushing in embarrassment. She looked at me with indignance.
"E-Eh? That's not true at all!"
Jess was still glaring in the direction that the guy had left. She similarly clenched her fist, but soon after relaxed it. She let out a soft breath.
"Does it hurt?"
I raised my eyebrow.
"Obviously, that stuff was basically boiling."
Jess turned to look at me, while her lips parted ever so slightly.
"But you didn't react at all."
I simply shook my head.
"It's not like I have to react to everything that happens to me, right?"
Arianne held her hand above her heart, while the other clenched onto her wrist.
"Why was he like that? It's not like you even did anything to him."
A smirk formed on my face as I took in another spoonful of pottage.
"There was something I did."
"What?"
Arianne looked at me in shock. I promptly spoke before she could ask.
"I was a noble."
She furrowed her brows hearing that.
"But how does that count?"
My eyes narrowed ever so slightly.
"Something like that is enough for most people."
I raised my spoon up to my mouth once more, but there was no soup within it. After an awkward moment, I set it back down and let out a yawn. Glancing at the others, I saw that none of them were even halfway through theirs.
"Hey, if you just stare at the food it's going to get cold. You might as well just eat it."
The other three seemed to finally wake out of their stupors and slowly went back to eating. I couldn't help but notice that Jess definitely had a difficult time getting through it, but she didn't raise any complaints, nor did she ever stop trying to finish it.
Raisa seemed to already get accustomed to it while trying the food at school.
Hm. Maybe the difference in the taste of food was a bigger deal than I imagined. Wait, so if the meals for nobles cost like, ten gold, then it should be a bit less for the commoner meals.
Since it was free at our school, it was hard to see the exact difference, but I assume that it averages at around seven gold per.
As I was thinking about it, I realized that the commotion was rising, but it wasn't around us. By now, several nobles had passed by along with farmers dragging several animals with them.
Most of the sounds were just people talking in fascination about something, while others were cries of fear. I haven't yet seen the process of extracting blood from the animals, but from what I was hearing, it appeared to be quite brutal.
Well, it looks like Nathan's business is going well, and Edward's prospects of power were high with this.
I noticed that the boy hadn't come, but other than that, everything else was the same.
The grand majority of commoners still weren't willing to give me a chance.
It didn't take too long for everyone to finish. Once again, we put everything away. Though Raisa really didn't want to leave, her bodyguard eventually coerced her into leaving back to their place.
Thus after giving my goodbyes to her and Arianne, I got in the carriage with Jess.
I thought it was just going to be filled with silence once more, but that was when she spoke up.
"You don't cry out even when you're in pain?"
I slowly opened my eyes, breaking out of my deep meditative state.
"It's not like I'm a robot programmed to cry out whenever something happens. If I can stop myself from crying out, it saves me energy and makes less of a ruckus."
She furrowed her brows rather intensely after hearing that.
"Have you been in pain all this time?"
Huh?
Her tone had suddenly dropped drastically like she was talking about someone dying. There was definitely a misunderstanding brewing, which would very likely get worse should I directly deny it.
I mean, that's like what all those tragic heroes do, right? When asked if something is horribly wrong, they just brush it off when the reality is they only have a few hours left to live.
The scene played out in my mind.
"Have you been in pain all this time?"
"No, I'm fine."
"Oh heavens! You have been in pain all this time but have never told me! And even when I ask you, your response is to simply deny it! I must continue pestering you to death so I can save you!"
...Well, it probably wouldn't be as exaggerated as that, but it probably would be that far off.
Of course, straight up lying about it wasn't exactly a solution either, so in the brief silence between us, I quickly tried to spin up an answer.
...No, rather, it should be a question!
"Eh? Why do you think I've been in pain?"
Jess tilted her head to the side.
"Huh? Are you not in pain?"
"Uh, I don't think so."
If I adopt an attitude of not even realizing the possibility of what she's talking about, then it will flawlessly look like everything is fine!
Jess didn't expect my response, judging from how her mouth hung agape.
"But you've distanced yourself from me and have become far less expressive. Something like that... must have a reason! There must be a reason why!"
A bitter smile formed on my face as I waved my hand dismissively.
"Ah, I guess I can see why you've thought like that. But I mean, there was no particular reason for my change. People just slowly become different when they get older. It's nothing particularly special."
Hah! I wasn't expecting her last comment, but this should finish it.
First, I partly agreed with her, to lower her resistance to my stance. After that, I denied her suspicions and gave a reasonable explanation. Now there's no doubting it.
...So why is Jess still looking at me as though I was pitiful?
"Bryson, when did you become such a proficient liar?"
What.
But didn't Raisa say I was a bad liar earlier? Why was I a good one now?
"Uh, I think you're misunderstanding something. I'm really not lying."
A sad smile formed on Jess's face.
"Then why do you shiver when you feel my touch? You're afraid of something, but I don't know what that is. Is the pain that bad? This... This is my fault, isn't it? I've neglected you far too much, I'm sorry!"
Neglected me? If anything, the reverse is the problem here! I mean seriously, who just forces themselves around someone else until they don't find it weird?
Jess didn't seem to be aware of this as she got up out of her seat and practically threw herself at me.
Once again, her arms wrapped around me, making me feel tense and uncomfortable.
"Seriously, I'm not in nearly as much pain as you're making it all out to be."
"So you are in pain."
My eyelid twitched.
Jess was incredibly quick to pick out slight discrepancies that weren't even real. I was starting to realize that no matter what I said, she was still going to have these concerns.
"I don't know how to express it, but your concern is unwarranted. Even in the worst-case scenario, it's not like I'm dying."
At least, not yet.
Jess didn't seem to hear me, as she had broken out in tears.
"This is all my fault! I could've prevented all this."
My expression gradually relaxed as I watched Jess break down like this. This has got to be really unhealthy. She cared more about me than she cared about herself. In fact, she probably even cared more about me than I cared about myself.
"You never had the obligation to protect or shield me. So even if whatever you think is wrong is true, it was never your fault to begin with."
Jess let out a sad hum.
"I do have that responsibility! I am your older sister!"
I took in a deep breath, and despite feeling incredibly uncomfortable, I patted her head.
"No, that isn't. If there was a responsibility in the first place, it would belong to our parents, who clearly have not done the best job."
She took in a hoarse breath before shaking her head.
"But because they haven't taken responsibility, it's naturally mine as the older sister!"
I massaged my temple, trying not to get pissed off by her hard-headedness.
"No. You may be the older sister, but that doesn't change the fact that you are still a child, like me. Don't forget that you still have to take care of yourself before anything else. Sure, I may not really know what I'm doing, but still."
A smile formed on my face.
"People can stand on their own."
And with my sincere emotions on display, surely, I would get through to her.
Jess looked at me with her mouth slightly agape and her eyes widened.
"But we aren't children. Our age already defines us as adults."
Jess, you piece of...
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