Chapter 36: When Do You Miss Your Mother the Most
Mom, this is Mei Fang. I havent told you about him before. He is my best friend besides Xia Yuan. He is here with me today to visit you. Please take care of him and dont let the nearby monsters bully him.
Lin Youxi pushed Mei Fangs shoulder and said, Ive introduced you already. Why are you standing there dumbly? Say hello to my mom!
A-Auntie, hello! My name is Mei Fang I I am Lin Youxis good friend.
Mei Fang stared at the photo of Lin Youxis mother on the tombstone. She was smiling so brightly that Mei Fang didnt know what to say for a moment.
At that moment, Lin Youxi suddenly closed her eyes and whispered something that Mei Fang could hear.
Mom, let me tell you something. I had a fight with Mei Fang today I was the one who lost my temper first, but Mei Fang apologized and comforted me. I feel guilty now, so I want you to tell Mei Fang for me that Im sorry and I hope he can forgive me.
After Lin Youxi finished speaking, she opened her eyes and asked Mei Fang, Did you hear my mom talking to you?
Mei Fang nodded, She told me that although her daughter Lin Youxi is a naughty and violent girl, she still hopes that I can be understanding and take care of her
Blushing, Lin Youxi punched Mei Fang and said, My mom would never say such things. Listen to me carefully again!
Mei Fang and Lin Youxi playfully completed the worship for Youxis mother.
When Mei Fang was busy packing up to leave, Lin Youxi stopped in front of the tombstone next to her mother.
Whats wrong?
Lin Youxi looked at the tombstone next to her mother.
It seems like no one has visited the grandma next to my mom for a long time I havent seen any new yellow paper or offerings on this tombstone this year.
Maybe the family is too busy and doesnt have time to come or maybe they have moved.
This grandma is so pitiful.
Lin Youxi said as she took a small apple from her mothers offering table and placed it respectfully in front of the incense burner of the neighboring tombstone.
Arent you afraid of making your mom angry?
Mom and this grandma are neighbors. They should be talking to each other often. It shouldnt be a big deal to share an apple.
Lin Youxi pointed to the photo and said, Look at how happy my mom is smiling. She must not be a stingy person.
Yeah.
Mei Fang agreed with Lin Youxis words. Just as he was about to leave, Lin Youxi grabbed his arm.
Are you in a hurry to leave? I finally came to see my mom. Stay here a little longer.
Mei Fang looked up and saw that the weather was gloomy. He was actually worried that it might rain.
Alright Ill listen to you.
Lin Youxi and Mei Fang sat on the small stone steps opposite her mothers tombstone, chatting about trivial topics.
But they were also talking to her mother.
Finally, Lin Youxi suddenly asked Mei Fang, Mei Fang, are you afraid of death?
Well yes, of course I am.
Mei Fang nodded seriously, Its a very painful thing, especially sudden death.
You talk as if youve experienced it.
No, I havent.
Lin Youxi took Mei Fangs sincere words as a joke and did not continue the topic.
I think, after a person dies, there are still descendants or relatives and friends who come to pay respects. At that time, its not considered completely dead. Just like my mom, she still lives in my and my dads hearts.
Well thats true.
But, if my dad and I also die, maybe there will still be someone who remembers us, but no one will remember my mom.
Lin Youxis voice sounded very sad.
By then, my mom will be like the grandma next door, no one will come to pay respects, and no one will remember her.
There is a saying that a person dies three times, which is very common.
But for Lin Youxi to understand this at such a young age is truly remarkable.
But, theres nothing we can do about it
No, I dont want it to be like that.
Lin Youxi seemed to have made a firm decision, When I grow up, I will definitely bring my children to see my mom. I will tell my children that this is their grandmother, their moms mom. If I leave in the future, they shouldnt just remember to pay respects to me, but also to my mom.
Listening to Lin Youxis determined words, Mei Fang felt a strange emotion.
In Chinese culture, we hold a reverence for our ancestors that is almost akin to that of deities. Ancestral worship customs prevail in this land, emphasizing the passing on of family traditions and the eternal flame of incense.
However, with the development of the times, these traditions have slowly been forgotten. The older generation in their hometowns still adheres to the past traditions, while most of the younger generation struggle in rented apartments in big cities.
As the older generation gradually passes away, some customs and habits seem to be inevitably destined to disappear.
Of course, this is not a question of good or bad, but a nihilistic concept. Do our ancestors really care about being remembered or not?
When Mei Fang came back to his senses, he continued the conversation with Lin Youxi, But, isnt it too early to think about such distant things now?
No, not at all.
Lin Youxi quietly stared at her mothers tombstone across from her and murmured.
Seeing her melancholic appearance, Mei Fang couldnt help but ask softly, Lin Youxi, when do you miss your mom the most?
Lin Youxi squatted on the stone steps, hugging her knees, and looked at the green grass and moss on the ground.
She fell into deep thought.
I dont usually think about it, after all, you and Xia Yuan are always by my side.
Xia Yuan is willing to be friends with me, share her toys with me, give me various small gifts, and always play the role of my mother taking care of me I really like her, I like her a lot.
Lin Youxi always admires and likes Xia Yuan when talking about her.
Oh then what about me?
Mei Fang smiled happily, with an expectant expression.
As for you
Lin Youxi thought for a moment, then said seriously, You are also good, after all, you play games with me.
After so many years, you only remember this?
This heartless and carefree girl!
Mei Fang had a look of grievance as if his conscience had been eaten by a dog.
But at the same time, as Lin Youxi continued speaking, he suddenly became silent.
After a long time, he looked up at the sky.
The evening breeze carried the Joss paper[1], and the setting sun disappeared behind the pine trees.
While the sky was covered with dark clouds, Lin Youxi also spoke.
But, apart from these times
A tear gently slid down Lin Youxis cheek.
I have always missed my mom.
I think about her every day.
Mei Fang silently watched as Lin Youxi poured out her feelings.
Everyone I know has a mom, only I dont have one.
I want to act spoiled in front of my mom
Like Xia Yuan does with Teacher Yu
Like Xiao Ya does with Aunt Mei
But, Im the only one without a mom
Lin Youxi hugged her knees and cried in distress.
Perhaps because he was confused by the little crybaby Xia Yuan, even though they had been together for so many years, Mei Fang only just noticed
This was actually the first time he had seen Lin Youxi cry like this, with a runny nose.
He moved closer, comforting her by patting her head like he did with Xia Yuan.
Lin Youxi didnt show any obvious reaction to Mei Fangs actions, she just kept crying.
But Mei Fang could slightly feel that she was leaning closer to his arm.
Most of the times, when a friend is going through something sad, theres no need to hear any profound words of comfort.
You dont need to tell her, Youve already done well.
You dont need to tell her, Others are in the wrong; youre not.
These are just empty words, and the person who is sad doesnt care about them.
You are willing to be by her side.
You are there by her side now.
When she needs you the most.
Being able to do this is worth more than a thousand words.
At that moment, the overcast sky rumbled with thunder, and then, a gentle drizzle began to fall.
Translators Notes:
Also known as incense papers. (ref: https://en. wikipedia.org /wiki/Joss _paper)
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