"You just stood still and let him beat you?"
Emor Tripas stared at the Commander, trying to figure out if she was serious. When it seemed to be that way, he said, "You and I have very different upbringing, Commander Iria. You won't understand me just like I don't understand you.
"In my uncle's case, I owe a lot to him. Though I never have a strong desire to live, he went through a lot just to take me out from the palace and keep me safe when Nardodia was defeated. He had a better choice and that is to leave me to die along with my father, mother and older brother.
"I was only 14 back then. What's more, I was still weak at that time as I never got the chance to learn any skills. However, he risked his life to keep me safe and taught me almost everything."
"He used you," Iria Alewine argued.
"I know," Emor Tripas said. "But I also know this. It was way better when Nardodia was under Qalagon. After all, Arin Helev never broke his promise and keep the people safe during all those years but my uncle is different. He will do anything necessary to achieve his goals. He won't care much about other things."
"So?"
"Even if I don't help him, he will still find another way to claim back Nardodia. That's why I decided to help him."
"Why?"
"Because I need to maintain our relationship as an uncle and a nephew. I know that if there is anyone who can make my uncle think twice, that's me. I wouldn't be able to stop him but still, I can do something beside him so that the people won't have to suffer as much as they did during my father's reign."
"Will he care about that? He might not listen to you," Iria Alewine said, giving him a doubtful look.
"I have to try," the Crown Prince replied to her faster than ever. "My uncle is very stubborn and domineering too. Once he makes a decision, he won't flinch no matter how much others opposed it. However... I can make him hesitate a few times. He is violent but I still have someplace in his heart. Believe me. He doesn't care about anyone else. I'm the only exception."
"He will also have his limits," Iria said in a pretty firm voice.
"I know but this is the best choice. Even if I fail, I will be the one to bear the consequences." He paused and meeting Iria's gaze, he added, "While we were in Qalagon, I once told you that I really don't value my life. I still feel that way.
"Now that I survived and live to see this day, I just want to try my best not to turn it to waste. It's fine even if I happen to die in my uncle's hands. After all, I still live, thanks to him."
Even after hearing his story, Iria Alewine still finds it hard to understand him. He was still young. If he was 14 during the war, then he was only 19 now. That means he was a year younger than her. He still had a future ahead of him.
Why live this way?
However, she wasn't him and she was never once in his shoes. So, who was she to judge him? She didn't even know how it would be like to have such a cruel childhood or to live without having a single say in his own life.
"I never thought that I will really be willing to say these to someone," Emor Tripas murmured with his gaze on the floor. "Apart from my uncle and me, only three people knew about this and each one of them is Nardodian. You're the fourth person and the only outsider."
Feeling a bit confused, Iria Alewine asked, "Why did you agree to tell me then? Considering your uncle's nature, we might become enemies anytime."
Giving a quick thought, Emor Tripas replied, "You know about my illness and most importantly, I can tolerate your touch. One doctor told me that it must be because I feel at ease when you're around. After all, my illness is mostly mental."
"Aren't you scared that you might be wrong?"
"I already told you that I don't really care even if I die. I never thought that I'm bound to live to see this day. It's already a miracle," Emor Tripas simply replied. Glancing around, he said, "I'm fine with everything but... I really hated this palace. Ever since I moved back here, those memories live in my mind more active than ever. I wish I can move somewhere else."
"You look like a little kid who loves to complain about everything," Iria Alewine said, pointing out his annoyed expression.
"Really?" Emor Tripas asked with a slight smile. "But I'm serious here."
"I think I should leave now. It's getting late," Iria Alewine suddenly said when her friend crossed her mind. Without even waiting for his response, she rose from her seat.
"You're leaving tomorrow, right?" Emor Tripas asked her as he stood up.
The Commander nodded. "We can't stay here forever. Besides, it's unsafe."
"Don't worry. I doubt that my uncle has a plan this time," he said to her. "I'm glad, Commander Iria. Today in the market, I got to see your carefree smile again. I even thought that the Crown Princess I once knew was back."
"Why must you care about that?" the Commander asked.
"It made me have a feeling that you don't abhor me that much anymore," he explained. "Though you proved me wrong, it still feels good to see that smile again," he added with a light laughter.
Thinking of how peculiar he was, Iria Alewine finally flashed a little smile. "Once we meet again, I hope it will be under better circumstances," she said, almost making him blinked. "I wish you a better life," she added.
No matter what, he didn't deserve to have his life stolen. Come to think of it, he already had it stolen even before he understood what life was. It made her sympathized with him.
Will things be different if he grew up under different circumstances, surrounded by a loving family?
Her words made him experienced many strange emotions. But mostly, he was glad. Maybe he realized one thing about her - that she was even more humane in contrast to her profession.
"I will remember what you said," he muttered though he wasn't even sure about it.
Iria Alewine nodded and left the chamber while Emor Tripas stared at her until he was out of her sight.
Then he sat down on the couch again. The suffocation he felt before she came wasn't there anymore and... he didn't understand why her simple words affected him so much.....
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