Chapter 152: Chapter 4.2
Because it was a fleeting dream
When I woke up at the hotel the next morning, I was the only one in the room. I knew why the other two beds were empty, though, so I didn't worry about it.
After I'd talked with Nagisa last night, the two of us had gone back to the hotel where we were staying. As a result, my covert meeting with Stephen and his group hadn't happened.
Even so, everything else was proceeding as it had before. Before long, Noel came to pick me up, and we headed for the palace where the ceremony would be held.
Once again, I ran into Mia and Rill there, and we had the same lively conversation we'd had in the other future. It would have been great if I'd been able to say something more tactful to Rill, but I'd save that for our next meeting. I'd probably be seeing her again.
The main thing after that was to return the origin text to Mia. Unlike in the other future, I hadn't given it to the thing in the crow mask.
I gave her the real origin text this time.
While Siesta and Nagisa chatted with Rill, I had my conversation with Mia.
"I see. So this is your answer, Kimihiko," Mia said. It was exactly what she'd said the other time. However, I was sure those words meant something different now.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" she asked me, hugging the origin text to her chest. The fact that it had returned to her was proof positive that the deal with Another Eden had fallen through. It was true that she'd left the decision in my hands, but her heart had to have been leaning in one direction or the other.
"Flawless justice and a transient peace," I murmured. Mia's shoulders jumped slightly. "I don't know which is the right choice, and which is the mistake. It's not for me to know."
I doubted I was qualified to decide a thing like that. Besides, even if an answer did turn up someday, that time would not be now.
"The question should keep until this ceremony's over, at least." Until then, I'd keep fighting for just a little longer.
"...All right. I'll help."
We shook hands for the second time. This handshake meant something a bit different from our first, but I don't think we could have gotten here without the other one.
"Oh, right. Mia, I've got one other thing to tell you..."
A little while after that, Mia and Rill left, and then Siesta, Nagisa, and I were on our own. It was the same situation that had happened in the other future. Once again, the atmosphere was awkward beyond words...but not everything was the same as before.
"Siesta, please dance with me at the ball," I said, forestalling her right off the bat. We were still fighting. We hadn't exchanged two words since last night.
Siesta looked dubious. "Why me? Besides, I promised Mia I'd dance with—" "I had Mia bow out. Unfortunately, I'm the only partner you've got."
"What's with the weird advance arrangements? Actually—Nagisa, you're
okay with this?"
"Oh, it's fine. Kimihiko and I had fun in a park last night."
"Huh? Are you trying to one-up me? What were you people doing while I was asleep?" Siesta stared at Nagisa incredulously.
However, Nagisa just gave a little smile, waved, and left. As she passed me, she whispered, "The rest is up to you."
The music began. I held out a hand to Siesta, who was just standing there woodenly. Sighing, she took it.
"Okay. Let's go."
Clasping Siesta's hand, I put my other hand on her waist.
It was the inverse of our usual situation. I wasn't ordinarily the one who took her hand. After all, Siesta was always catching mine and pulling me along before I knew it.
"Can you dance, Kimi?" "Do I look like I can?" "No, not at all."
Don't say that with a straight face. Letting the music carry me, I muddled through a few steps by mimicking other people. "...Actually, Siesta, you lead."
The graceful dancing of everyone around us was making me wish I could disappear.
"Haaah. If I must," Siesta sighed. Pulling my hand, she drew me in close. I was pressed against her curves, and I could feel her body heat. With her in the lead, I managed to find the natural movements for my feet.
It wasn't as if we'd swapped gender roles. To bystanders, it probably even looked as though I was leading her. Siesta and I twirled like a carousel through the waltz—and then, out of nowhere, I felt eyes on me.
"We're being watched." Siesta gave an alluring smile. That low-cut gown, her elegant hairstyle, her formal makeup. She'd grown up, and just for the moment, I forgot everything else and danced with her.
"Are you embarrassed to have all these people focused on you?" Not even possible.
I was proud. Right now, she was the center of the world. "I'm sorry," I said, looking her in the eye.
"What are you apologizing for?" Siesta averted her eyes slightly.
"I've been remembering the past. Thinking about how we might have gotten our wires crossed like that." I didn't answer her question right away. Instead, I looked for the words that would get me there. For detectives and their assistants,
theories needed to come before conclusions.
"Ever since we left on that first journey, we've fought quite a bit over quite a few things."
"You're reminiscing about our travels, and you start by remembering the fights?"
Well, I didn't feel great about that, either, but they were what came to mind first.
"Still, you're right. You always did things that made me mad. A simple week of sleeping outdoors left you grumpy, and when I suggested going to buy new weapons, you didn't look like you were having fun. When I slept soundly until noon, you'd wake me up."
"Those were brand-new hurdles for me, and you set them way too high." And that last one was completely not my fault. "The extraordinary stuff you brought into my life kept almost killing me."
"Yes, and I protected you so that it wouldn't happen. Over and over." "Yeah... And every time you did, you put yourself in danger."
Siesta looked away again.
Even as we danced, we remembered those relentless days.
"Come to think of it, you got mad at me, too, Kimi. You said I'd damn well better look after you until the very, very, very end. You said that meant I couldn't go off and die without telling you." With a self-mocking smile, Siesta looked up at me again. "Did you hate that side of me?"
"Yeah, I did."
That was why, when the seed had begun to eat away at her heart and she'd tried to disappear, we'd fought with each other again. I'd wanted her to be more selfish. More than the world, more than the rest of us, I'd wanted her to value herself.
"I thought I'd gotten through to you that day, since you said you wanted to drink tea with me again."
Since she'd said she wanted to live. "And so yesterday, you..."
"Yeah. I believed this peaceful, ordinary year was what you wanted." Not just Siesta. Nagisa too.
Now that the fighting was over and their missions had been carried out, I'd thought the detectives had finally gotten their happy ending. They'd given me so much. Maybe it was arrogant of me, but I hoped I'd managed to repay them.
"I had the wrong idea, though."
"...Assistant, that's—"
"No, listen. I'm not disparaging myself." I just wanted to acknowledge my own mistake. It was something I'd realized after Nagisa had asked me that question last night.
"Which versions of us did you like?"
It was time to answer that question.
"A minute ago, I said I hated the part of you that doesn't hesitate to sacrifice herself. But..."
I didn't know if I should say this next bit. Everything I'd done had been an attempt to deny this. Holding on to this wish was what had let me move forward and shown me the future. If I said this, I risked overturning all of that. It could put the life I wanted even further out of reach. Even so—
"I thought that ephemeral detective was beautiful, too."
The detective who hadn't hesitated to scatter herself like cherry blossoms, who'd swept away the darkness with a brief flash of light, who'd shone brighter than anyone. I'd loved that radiant detective.
"So this is my apology." This had to be the first time I'd ever genuinely given one to Siesta. "I didn't want to let you die, and I almost sullied the pride of the Ace Detective for the sake of my ego. I'm sorry. Forgive me."
The music was still playing. I drew Siesta closer.
"Did I look cool?" she asked, just a little uneasily. Her face was there in my arms, near my heart.
"Yeah. You were beautiful and cool and dazzling. I think I took your hand that day because the invitation was coming from someone like that."
We'd met in the sky at ten thousand meters. She'd barged into my house and my school, and she'd shown me the solutions to my problems. Then, as she was about to leave on her journey around the world, she'd held out a hand to me, and I'd taken it. I'd had the feeling that going with her would drastically change my life.
"Is that why you said to stay with you as long as you lived, back then?"
Smiling slightly, Siesta dredged up something from seven years ago. At the airport right before she'd left Japan, Siesta had invited me to be her assistant one last time, and my answer had come out like a proposal.
"I seem to recall taking that back."
"Oh, did you? I took it a little seriously and kept you with me for three years."
We grinned at each other.
The music swelled. It was almost time for the dance to end, and for couples to exchange partners.
"All right, Siesta. I'm going to say it again." Siesta tilted her head slightly.
"Stay with me as long as I live." Her blue eyes widened.
"Don't ever go away. Not for the rest of your life. Let me stay with you until we die."
I'd seen Siesta leave the world many times before, and those scenes flickered through my mind.
In this moment, I believed the souls of words had power—and I used them to deny those memories.
"No matter what happens, don't disappear. Wherever you're going, take me with you. I'll go anywhere. Whatever unfairness we run into, I'll get through it. And so—"
"I promise." Siesta's radiant eyes gazed at me.
I couldn't hear the music anymore. The only thing I could hear was her voice.
"I'll always take you with me. I'll protect you from unfairness forever. I'll do dumb things with you until we die. And so—"
With a little thunk, Siesta let her forehead rest against my chest. "Make me happy as long as I live."
We stopped dancing. Our breathing was rough, our bodies flushed. Once I'd calmed down a little, I began to hear the voices around me again. The music had ended. Siesta and I were still gazing at each other, but at last, we broke eye contact.
"Did you mean 'as a detective'?"
"You meant 'as an assistant,' didn't you, Kimi?"
Our eyes locked again, and then we both started laughing. Unusually for Siesta, she was laughing so hard she had to wipe away tears, and her smile was the same million-watt one she'd worn on that day.
"Now then, Assistant. What are we going to do next?"
Switching emotional gears entirely, the detective asked her assistant for his decision.
The main show began now.
I drew a deep breath, then gave the answer I hadn't chosen in the other future. "Siesta, let's begin the maneuver."
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